The Impossible Lisa Barnes (Anika Scott Series) Read online

  To make it worse, Alex came tearing over to him.

  "Hey, neat, Dad. Can I have it? Let me hold it. OK?"

  Mr. Barnes tried to put it onto Alex's hand, but it curled up and dropped onto the floor. Alex grabbed it and tried to uncurl it with his fingers.

  "Don't! You'll break it," I yelled. "You have to hold still until it uncurls itself." I can't stand it when anything gets hurt, even bugs.

  Alex stopped and stared at it.

  "Are these things really ten times bigger at the coast?"

  "Yes." It was Sandy, trying to get things back on track. "All the bugs are. There was a big, gold spider behind the house last year with a web five feet across."

  Mrs. Barnes laughed kind of nervously. "I'm sure you girls are exaggerating."

  "No, we aren't," said Traci. "One time there was a whole bunch of dead spiders in the coffee pot. A wasp stuffed the perking part full of dead spiders and mud, didn't it Aunt Hazel? Another time when my dad tried to kill a poisonous snake that was in the roof, it came right after him. He barely killed it in time."

  Mrs. Barnes looked so horrified that for a second I thought our plan was working. Then Alex had to butt in.

  "All right! Monster bugs!"

  He had this huge grin on his face. With his big front teeth and mouse-colored hair sticking up, he looked like a crazy rat.

  "I guess we'll have to get used to it sometime, seeing as God sent us over here," Mrs. Barnes said quietly.

  That took all the fun out of it.

  All of a sudden there was a loud screech. Alex had stuck the ani-ngongo on Lisa's head. The ani-ngongo fell off when Lisa jumped up, but she ran off the porch anyway. Mr. Barnes called her, but she ignored him and walked off, her back stiff.

  Watching Lisa walk away, I felt a little bit sorry for her.

  Mr. Barnes got up and walked over to Mrs. Barnes. He put one of his huge hands on her shoulder, then he looked up. "I'm sorry for Lisa and Alex's behavior. I guess they could learn a thing or two from your children."

  Wow, I thought, he sure doesn't know us very well.

  Mr. Barnes was still talking, "IfElsie, here, feels that the bugs and things at the coast would be too hard on her," he was rubbing Mrs. Barnes's shoulder, "or too hard on Lisa, then we'll just give it a pass." He looked down at Mrs. Barnes. "How about we let them know tomorrow morning? That should still give us time to pack up if we do decide to go."

  Mom was agreeing that this would be fine when Traci kicked me in the shins and grinned. Then Sandy and Traci took off. I followed them.

  As soon as we quit running, Sandy practically yelled, "It's working! It's working! Bugging the Barneses is working."

  "Shhhh! They'll hear you," hissed Traci.

  So we started running again.

  We stopped near Daddy's office and plopped down under a cape chestnut tree. It's one of my favorite trees because it has these big purple flowers that look kind of like orchids.

  "Mrs. Barnes still might decide to come," I said. "She did say that she has to get used to stuff."

  "Ibet your mom is telling them how great the coast is right now," said Traci glumly. "They'll never stay home after that."

  "Then we'll just have to make sure they don't come," I said. I was thinking about Daddy again, but somehow I didn't want to say so. Since he had gotten sick, I'd hardly ever said anything about it to other kids. It's like it was too private or something.

  "How?" demanded Sandy.

  "We could do something to their car," I said.

  "Noway!" Sandy broke in. "Daddy would kill us. Besides, we don't know how."

  "Wewouldn't have to wreck their car or anything," I said, "We could just do something like Mr. Barnes did to your car, Traci. That would be fair."

  "That's dumb," said Sandy. "Mr. Barnes probably knows all the practical jokes in the world."

  "How about sticking a tarantula under the door when they're having supper?" asked Traci.

  Sandy giggled and said, "Remember how Mom acted when that one came under our door last year?"

  "It won't work," I said. "We don't know where to catch a tarantula, and, anyway, I don't really want to touch one. I bet you don't, either."

  "OK, if you're so smart, what should we use then?" asked Sandy. She was trying to get under my skin, but I wasn't going to let her. We just had to make this work for Daddy.

  I was staring out at the park, and I noticed two locusts over by the path.

  "How about those?" I asked.

  Locusts are giant grasshoppers that only come around once in a while. They are the same insects as the ones God sent as a plague on Egypt in the Bible. The locusts in Kenya come from the desert up north. Just like the Bible locusts, they used to cause real plagues, darken the sky, and eat up all the plants. Now people in airplanes sprayed the huge swarms, so they didn't cover the ground anymore. But there were still quite a few of them.

  "Well, maybe if we caught a whole bunch and put them in their house…," said Sandy, sounding kind of doubtful.

  "Hey, I know," said Traci. "David was making a cage for locusts yesterday—you know how he likes bugs and making stuff. Maybe he still has them out in the shed. A big bunch of bugs like that should really bug Lisa and her family."

  Just then Mom called us for supper. I suddenly remembered that we couldn't come out to help after supper, because we'd have to help Daddy. Traci didn't have to help at the office, though. When she had found out about all of us working at the office, she'd asked if she could stay home and read. Mom had said yes. David was going to have supper with the Barneses, because he and Alex were already friends.

  Traci wasn't happy about having to get the locusts into the Barneses' house by herself. We made her promise to try, though.

  "Idon't see how we can do it now," she said. "They'll all be home for supper in a minute."

  "Maybe you can get the bugs in through the kitchen door while they're eating supper," I said. "Their worker should have gone home by now."

  "They don't have a worker," Traci interrupted.

  "What?" I could hardly believe my ears. Everybody had workers.

  "They don't believe in it," said Traci, sounding really sarcastic.

  Mom called us again, so we had to quit talking and run home for supper. During the meal, Sandy and Traci kept looking at each other so much that Mom noticed and said they both looked like the cat that swallowed the cream.

  "They're just excited about going to the coast," I said quickly, and "Traci is worried about her grandma."

  Traci started to say, "Iam not," but I kicked her on the shin, so she shut up. I could tell Mom was going to ask more, so I quickly asked Daddy what work he had to get done at the office. Daddy always likes to talk about what needs to be done.

  As Daddy talked, I glanced at Traci and Sandy and smiled to myself, thinking about the locusts. Project Bugging the Barneses was about to take a giant leap forward!

  | Go to Table of Contents |

  Chapter Three

  At the office, Sandy was folding letters, and I was stuffing them into envelopes. She handed me a letter and whispered, "Do you think Traci will do it?"

  "I don't know, she's your friend," I whispered back. I halfway hoped she wouldn't. Sometimes bugging the Barneses seemed like a really great idea. But other times, it made me feel weird inside. Still, Daddy just had to rest!

  It was dark by the time we got done at the office. Mom, Daddy, Sandy, and I were on our way across the park when there was an incredible screech, and Mrs. Barnes came tearing out of the front door of their house.

  She was kind of hopping up and down and swatting at her shoulder. Mr. Barnes was trying to keep up with her. It looked like some crazy new kind of square dance.

  "Whaton earth?" said Mom. She and Daddy hurried over to see what was going on. I held back. If you're too close to things, it's easier to get blamed. I guess Sandy felt the same way, because she stayed with me.

  By the time they'd gotten the locust off of Mrs. Barnes, the Mitarus were th
ere, too. Mrs. Barnes sure can scream. Traci turned up next to Sandy just when Mrs. Barnes finally got quiet.

  All the adults were in a little huddle around Mrs. Barnes. David and Alex were over by the Barneses' door, just staring.

  "Psst! David!" Traci hissed at her brother in a loud whisper. She had to do it three times before he noticed and came over.

  "What happened?" Traci asked.

  "Alex's mom went into the kitchen, then she started screaming like she was being killed. She came hopping and spinning and screaming into the living room and out the door. Mr. Barnes chased her. Do you know what's the matter with her?"

  Just then Lisa came tearing out of her house. "Dad! Dad!" she was yelling. "Grasshoppers! Gross giant grasshoppers! One hopped out of the kitchen right at me," and she started to cry.

  "Is it just locusts?" asked David. "These people are going crazy about locusts?"

  "Kids," it was Daddy, "Iwant you to get into the Barneses' house and catch the locusts." Then he frowned. "And I'd sure like to know how they got there."

  Lisa and Mrs. Barnes stayed outside while the rest of us got the locusts out of the house. David had worked hard collecting them. There must have been about twenty of them. They were in the curtains, on the counter, everywhere. Some had even gotten down the hall into the bedrooms.

  The trouble was, Daddy was catching locusts, too, and he already looked tired.

  About halfway through, David was taking one out the back door when he found his locust cage. He came charging inside, waving it around in the air and yelling about a thief. There were still a couple of locusts in it, too. Suddenly he marched straight up to Alex and swung at him.

  "I didn't touch your dumb cage," yelled Alex, hopping backwards and trying to fend David off. Daddy strode over and grabbed both boys by a shoulder.

  "Is this your doing, David?" he demanded. Sick or not, he looked pretty fierce. I was glad he wasn't asking me that question.

  "No way," David was so mad his voice came out high and squeaky.

  Traci and Sandy were already out in the yard, and I had just about made it through the door, but it didn't do any good. Daddy followed me out.

  "Stop right there! Did you girls have anything to do with this?" he said very quietly and severely.

  None of us was in a hurry to answer, but before we even got a chance Lisa burst out, "I hate this place. Everyone here is terrible!" She pointed straight at me. "She tried to stick some kind of ugly lizard on me, then she shoved some other gross bug right in Dad's face. Now the house is full of monster grasshoppers. I bet she did that, too."

  "Lisa, take it easy. Maybe it was just a practical joke," said Mr. Barnes, walking over to her.

  She swung around to face him. "Ihate your dumb old practical jokes, too. I want to go home."

  "This is our home now. We're here to serve God, and I think you could pull a little more of your own weight. Now get to your room."

  "I can't! It's full of bugs, thanks to her," and she pointed at me again. "I bet God hates me, too!" With that, she marched off into the night.

  There was a long silence. Finally Daddy said, "Let'sget the rest of the locusts out of the house first. We can get to the root of this later. I'm very sorry about this, Joey."

  I didn't like the sound of getting "to the root of this later." It wasn't fair. Lisa had blamed everything on me.

  Mr. Barnes kept acting jolly and saying it was only a practical joke and that Lisa had better grow up.

  A few minutes later Traci and I ended up in Alex's bedroom chasing one of the last locusts. "Why did you have to go and leave David's cage here?" I hissed at her in a whisper.

  "Shhhh," she hissed back just as Alex walked in.

  I grabbed at the locust. It hopped straight at Alex. He grabbed and caught it, but he dropped it in a hurry.

  "Ow!" he yelled, shaking his poked hand. Locusts have little spines on the back of their hoppers. They can kick hard enough to poke them right into you. You have to grab their back legs so they can't kick you.

  Alex looked so funny hopping around sucking his poked hand that Traci and I both laughed. He grabbed the locust again, only this time he got it the right way and ran at us. I just barely escaped having the thing stuffed down my back. He was grinning like a mad rat when we ran out of his room.

  By the time we were done, my hands were poked sore, and I was sick of looking at the locusts' little legs and bulgy eyes. The grilling Sandy and I got when we were back at the house wasn't much of an improvement on locust chasing, though. David didn't come with us, so I guess Mom had said he could sleep at the Barneses' house.

  "Traci,you go to your room," Daddy said as soon as we came in the house. She was already all set up in the guest room. She was sleeping there because Mom said she wanted us to sleep and not giggle all night.

  As soon as Traci was gone Daddy started in. "The Barneses are having a rough time adjusting right now, and you girls have made it more difficult for them. I expected better things of both of you. Especially you, Anika. You're old enough to know better. Joey Barnes has a lot to offer to the Bible school, as does Elsie."

  "But Daddy, I don't see why they have to wreck our trip to the coast," said Sandy.

  "Whether they wreck it for you or not is entirely up to you. I don't always find Joey Barnes easy to get along with, but he has a real heart for God. He'll adapt, and maybe we can learn something from him."

  "Like how to put rocks in hubcaps?" I asked. I could hardly bear the thought of Daddy having to work at getting along with Mr. Barnes.

  "That's enough! Do you want to send someone away whom God has sent here?"

  "What does that have to do with it?" I demanded.

  Mom answered. "Elsie Barnes mentioned that if Lisa hasn't settled in here in the next several months, they would think seriously of going back to the States."

  All I could say was, "Oh." I really hadn't thought that anything I did could make a difference, other than maybe stopping the Barneses from coming to the coast. And I still thought that was the right thing to do. I mean, God wanted Daddy to get better, didn't he? I was only helping. Helping something good to happen couldn't be wrong, could it? I didn't want to think about it, especially since I was getting a stronger feeling all the time that bugging the Barneses was wrong.

  Daddy just shook his head, looking at me. "You've got to think first, Anika, before you start some crazy plan," he said.

  But Lisa was such a twit! And she and her fancy American clothes made me look like a total geek. Besides, she'd gone and blamed everything on me when I didn't catch the ani-ngongo or put the locusts in their house or anything.

  I got madder and madder thinking about it, and soon it seemed like it was all Lisa's fault. If she hadn't been acting so dumb her parents wouldn't be thinking of going back. Besides, if she and her mom weren't such scaredy cats none of this would have happened. They just weren't cut out to be missionaries, as far as I was concerned.

  I didn't really listen to the rest of the lecture, but l knew it was over because Mom called Traci back for family devotions. They seemed to take forever, and I didn't feel like praying at all.

  The next day was terrible. After breakfast Sandy and I had to go down to apologize to the Barneses. As soon as we got out of the house we started fighting. Sandy said the ani-ngongo and the locusts had been my idea, and now I'd gotten her in trouble, too. I said it was her idea to start the whole bugging the Barneses thing in the first place and told her to shut up. Then at the Barneses she wouldn't say anything, so I had to do all the apologizing.

  "I'm sorry about the locusts, Mrs. Barnes," I said. "We didn't mean to make it harder for you." That was true anyway.

  "I'm sure you sweeties didn't mean any harm with your little jokes. We just aren't used to everything here quite yet," she gushed. "Now, Lisa, tell these nice girls that you accept their apology."

  Lisa just glared at us. She probably noticed that I hadn't apologized to her. Well, she hadn't apologized for blaming everything on me
, either.

  We stood there waiting for Lisa to say something for at least two days. Well, that's how long it felt, anyway. Finally Mrs. Barnes sent her to her room. I could tell Lisa thought that was my fault, too.

  Just as we were leaving, Mrs. Barnes said, "Girls, we'll be spending so much time together at the coast, you can't go on calling me Mrs. Barnes. I'm your very own Aunt Elsie now."

  That's what you think, I thought angrily. Then it sunk in: they were coming to the coast with us. That didn't exactly improve my day. When I told Mom and Dad, though, they were glad.

  "Elsie Barnes is a brave woman," Mom said.

  I spent the rest of the day reading. Reading is great when you don't want to think about anything that's happening in real life. Too bad it didn't really help this time. Mom kept getting after me to help with the packing. Then Daddy got really mad when I didn't come right away when he called me. I only wanted to finish the chapter I was reading. Finally, Mom gave me a lecture on "choosing to be miserable." This definitely was turning into a first-class, royally rotten day!

  Usually I'm happy and excited before we go to the coast, but this time was the pits. Daddy let Mom talk him out of packing the car, which was always his job. He must have been feeling rotten. It made me ache inside to watch him. He ended up doing quite a bit of the work anyway, because we couldn't seem to get it just right.

  When we went up to bed, Traci and Sandy begged and begged to share a room, but Mom wouldn't budge. After we were in bed, Sandy told me that Traci was really mad at David for showing the cage and getting everybody in trouble.

  "Then she shouldn't have left it there. Traci always blames everything on other people," I snapped. "Just like you," I ended, which wasn't really fair.

  "I do n—," Sandy started to say, but I interrupted.

  "Shhh! Listen." There was a horrible noise outside, and it was coming closer. It was a man screaming. Then he was on the porch hammering on the door, sobbing and hollering, "Saidia mimi! Saidia mimi!"which means "Help me" in Swahili.

  I shot out of bed, and Sandy was right behind me. In the sewing room next to our room, there is this sort of closet space you can get into. At the back you can see down through a screen onto the porch. We crawled into that closet and stared down. A second later Traci crawled in beside us.