The Impossible Lisa Barnes (Anika Scott Series) Read online

  "Shhh, Mom will hear you."

  "What is it? What is it? Take it away!" She screeched in a whisper, copying Lisa.

  A picture of Mrs. Barnes hopping up and down with a lizard in her hair flashed into my head. I started giggling, too.

  "Girls, settle down now," Daddy called.

  I stuffed my pillow over my face, but I couldn't quit giggling. Every time I did stop, I'd see the look on Mrs. Barnes's face and start all over again. Or Sandy would start to giggle, and that would make me laugh too.

  My tummy muscles were really sore from giggling by the time we finally got to sleep.

  "Anika! Anika, wake up," Sandy was shaking me. I unglued my eyes, but I couldn't see a thing. It was pitch black out.

  "Come on, wake up," she hissed at me in a whisper. "The Stewarts are downstairs, and there's something going on."

  I couldn't hear David or Traci Stewart, but I could hear Uncle Paul Stewart's voice—and Aunt Bea Stewart was crying.

  We went to the top of the stairs to listen.

  "KLM flies to Amsterdam every Thursday. That's tomorrow," Daddy was saying. "You should be able to get a flight on to New York from there without too much trouble."

  "But what about the kids?" Aunt Bea said, still crying.

  "Now, don't worry about Traci and David," Mom said. "They'll do just fine with us."

  What on earth was going on? I edged further down the stairs to hear better. Sandy followed.

  "But you need to rest, Kevin," said Uncle Paul. I don't want to, but perhaps I should let Bea go home alo—"

  "No! Your place is at your wife's side," Daddy interrupted. "The kids will be no trouble at all at the coast with us."

  Sandy clapped her hands silently, then with a big grin on her face she practically dragged me back to our room. As soon as we were there, she started dancing around.

  "Traci's coming to the coast with us! Traci's coming to the coast with us!" she whispered.

  "Shhh, they'll hear you." I interrupted her mad dance. "Did you hear why Aunt Bea is crying?"

  "Her mom's really sick or something. Anyway, they have to go back to the States, and Traci's coming to the coast with us!" She started dancing around again.

  "I noticed," I said. It seemed like Sandy never cared about anything but herself. Here Aunt Bea is crying, and Daddy will have to put up with more kids, and all Sandy can do is dance around the room.

  Suddenly she stopped dancing. "Hey, maybe Traci can help us scare the Barneses off."

  "Yeah, maybe," I said really slowly, thinking the idea over. At least if the Barneses didn't come, Daddy could get some rest.

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  Chapter Two

  "Anika, wake up." Sandy was shaking me again. "Let's go over and help Traci pack."

  It took a second before I remembered: Traci and David Stewart were coming to the coast with us—and so were the Barneses. I cringed. Lisa Barnes would probably spend the whole three weeks looking down her sophisticated nose at me. I pulled the covers over my head.

  Sandy yanked at them and said, "Come on. Get up! We have to tell Traci the plan."

  Oh yes, the plan, I thought. It just might work. At least there's a chance we can scare them off. I stuck my head out and said, "OK, OK, I'm getting up."

  Sandy took off downstairs, but Mom made her wait for me. She also made us clean our room first.

  When we finally made it to Traci's room, Sandy blurted out, "I've got this super plan. If we get enough big bugs we can scare the Barneses into not coming."

  "Whatare you talking about?" Traci demanded. She has this dark red hair that's really long, and she flips it over her shoulder with a jerk when she asks questions.

  I interrupted, "Traci, I'm sorry your grandma is sick."

  "Oh, Dad said God will take care of her," Traci said. She didn't seem very worried. I guess Traci had only seen her grandmother a couple of times, and that was ages ago. "She never sends us presents as good as 'Nam Stewart sends, anyway," Traci added. "I don't see what the big fuss is about. I wish Mom and Dad weren't going, though."

  "At least you get to come to the coast with us," Sandy said. "Only trouble is, the Barneses are coming, too."

  "They're not! Dad never said that," Traci insisted.

  "They are. They said so at supper last night," I said.

  "Well, I don't want them. I just want to be with you guys."

  "That's what I was talking about," said Sandy. "I've got a plan that'll make sure they won't come."

  When she explained it, I felt all squirmy inside again. Traci, on the other hand, thought it was great.

  "We could get your mom to invite them over for tea this afternoon," she said. "Then we could get started telling them all about all the snakessssss and lizzzards and tarraaaaantulas at the coast."

  In Kenya, the grown-ups all have tea twice a day, kind of like a coffee break. It's a British tradition that everybody in Kenya follows. Having teadoesn't just mean tea, though. There's usually cookies or something to munch on, too.

  "Come on, let's go ask," said Sandy. "We can pack up after tea."

  When we asked Mom if the Barneses could come to tea that morning, she looked at us very hard and said, "I'm glad you've had a change of heart." We tried to look innocent. Sandy tried so hard she looked really silly. Mom must have suspected something, but she said we could invite them. She had to go help the Stewarts pack up that morning, but they'd be gone by afternoon.

  We'd just gotten back to the Stewarts' house when we heard an awful noise. It was coming from where Uncle Paul was backing their car out of the driveway. He stopped the car in a hurry and got out. We were all staring at the car when Alex Barnes and David came up.

  "What's the matter Uncle Paul? Does your car sound funny?" asked Alex, and then he started to giggle.

  "I don't see what's so funny," said Traci.

  "Yeah, how would you feel if your car broke down just before you had to leave for the States?" Sandy demanded. She always stands up for Traci.

  "It's not broken," said Alex, still giggling. "Dad just put stones in the hubcaps."

  Uncle Paul kind of sighed, then he asked David to go get a screwdriver. Alex went with him.

  "Why did Mr. Barnes do that?" asked Tract as soon as Alex was gone. I couldn't figure it out either. It seemed like a really stupid thing for a grown-up to do.

  "Mr.Barnes believes practical jokes help people become friends. As he puts it, they 'break the ice and liven things up,'"said Uncle Paul.

  I could practically hear Mr. Barnes booming that out in a fake-cheerful voice. At least he could have left the Stewarts alone, with Aunt Bea's mom sick and everything, I thought. Then I remembered he wouldn't have known yesterday when he did it. Maybe he still didn't know.

  Then I had another thought: Mr. Barnes would probably be playing practical jokes the whole time we were at the coast, too. Ugh! I guess Sandy was thinking the same thing because she said, "Come on. Let's get going," and we headed for the Barneses' house to make sure they'd come to tea.

  "We'd be just delighted, honey," Mrs. Barnes cooed. Then she reached for Tract, grabbed her arm, and started patting her. "Alex just told us about your grandma, Tract honey. You must be feeling absolutely terrible. Make sure you tell your mommy to call me if she needs any help with her packing."

  Traci stood stiff as a stick. Mrs. Barnes probably thought that meant Traci was worried about her grandmother, because she bent over and hugged her.

  As soon as we got out of there, Traci said, "I think we need a better plan."

  "Hey, you guys, what about ani-ngongos?" I blurted out. Ani-ngongo was the name we called millipedes. I think it came from the Kikamba word for them. They have round, shiny black bodies and tiny red legs that go along in waves right under their bodies, so they look kind of like tiny trains.

  "Well, what about them?" asked Sandy.

  "You know the ones at the coast are about ten times bigger than the ones here. What if we catch a couple of the ones around he
re and tell them that?"

  Sandy started to giggle. "What is it? What is it? Take it away!" she screeched.

  Traci looked at Sandy confused, so she told Traci about what happened last night. I was still kind of embarrassed about it, but it wasfunny.

  "That was a great idea, Anika, taking Lisa a chameleon," said Traci. "We've got to think of something even better."

  "But I didn't do it to be mean," I said, a little frustrated. "I was trying to be nice."

  "Yeah, sure," said Traci. "Anyway, let's look for ani-ngongos."

  Then I giggled and blurted, "I know what we can call this plan—Bugging the Barneses."

  "All right? said Traci, "Let's get bugging!"

  We forgot all about packing and started to look for our multilegged cohorts.

  It's funny, but if you're looking for something it's almost impossible to find it. Usually we just sort of accidentally noticed ani-ngongos. Everywhere. Now we couldn't find any.

  We looked all over the park—an open grassy place that's in the center of all the houses on station—and on the edges of the roads. We even poked around the flower gardens, but there were no ani-ngongos. Mrs. Barnes came out front when we were down near their house, so we tried to look innocent—but she'd only come out to call Alex home.

  By now I was hot and tired and sorry I'd ever thought about ani-ngongos.

  "Let's get David to help us," said Traci. "He's good at catching stuff. Alex isn't with him now."

  We finally found David in the avocado tree behind Daddy's office, but he wouldn't help when we told him what it was for.

  "No,I don't want to," he said. "I like Alex, even if his parents are kind of weird." David is a very determined person, so that was that.

  "Don't you tell on us then!" Traci said in a kind of fierce voice.

  I wasn't too worried, though. David probably wouldn't tell. If there is one thing you learn at boarding school, it's not to tattle. Tattletales are the lowest of the low.

  He just looked disgusted. "Mom asked me if you were packed. Are you?"

  We stared at each other for a minute, then headed back to the Stewarts' house in a hurry. Wouldn't you know it, just when we'd quit looking, Sandy found an ani-ngongo. Curled up tight in her palm (they always do that when you scare them), it didn't look like it could possibly scare anybody. But we took it back with us to the Stewarts' anyway.

  "OK," said Traci, as she stuck the ani-ngongo in a matchbox. "We've got to figure out the best way to use this." Then she started hauling out her clothes and stuffing them in the suitcase Aunt Bea had put out.

  "If we had a whole bunch we could stick them all over the room. Then when they notice them, we can say how much bigger the ones at the coast are," Sandy said.

  "Well, we only have one,"I said. "Whatif we sneak it into Mrs. Barnes's saucer?"

  "What is it? What is it? Take it away!" screeched Traci, acting as though she was terrified of the pair of shorts she was packing. Everybody giggled.

  "That won't work," Sandy interrupted, sitting up suddenly. "Mom would know that somebody had put it there. Besides, it might even get Barnabas in trouble."

  Barnabas is our worker. He does cooking and cleaning and stuff. All the families on station have workers—even the African families like the Mitarus. Mr. Mitaru is Daddy's partner at the office.

  "It won't get Barnabas in trouble," I said without thinking.

  "It will, too. Mom will think he didn't check to see if the cups were clean when he put them out."

  "Well, if he gets in trouble we'll just say it was us," I said.

  "Then what's the use of doing it, if we just get in trouble?" said Sandy, plopping onto the end of Traci's bed.

  "We could let it crawl on the floor and then all of a sudden pretend to notice it," I said.

  "Well, OK," Sandy finally agreed.

  "That's not very scary," said Traci, sounding disgusted.

  "It will be if we tell the stories right," I said. "Maybe we get on the subject, even the adults will join in telling stories about bugs and snakes and stuff at the coast. That should really bug Lisa and her mom."

  "Like the time a snake was on your pillow," said Sandy, "and you came running out going, 'Sna! Sna! Sn'—"

  I didn't like being reminded of that—I'd looked pretty dumb—so I interrupted. "Orthe time you sat on a fire ant and cried all afternoon."

  Sandy frowned, but Traci was started now, "Or the time the monitor lizard jumped off the top of the shower at Mom. Wow! Can you imagine what would happen if one did that to Lisa or Mrs. Barnes?" She stuffed her swimsuit in the suitcase, then sat on it, giggling.

  Everybody was still giggling when the Stewarts' worker called, "Chakula tayari."

  That's Swahili for "The food is ready." There are lots of different languages in Kenya. The people around our station talked Kikamba. Other tribes talk Kikuyu or Masai. White people talk English, Danish, French, or whatever. Indian people talk Hindi or Urdu. But all the different groups talk to each other in Swahili, which is called a trade language. The only people who talk Swahili at home, the Swahilis, live at the coast. We kids knew enough Swahili to get by.

  "Well," I said, "time for Sandy and me to go home for lunch, too."

  "Think up more good bugging stories," Traci called as we left.

  After lunch, Sandy and I had to bring the wash in off the line and fold the towels and stuff. Sandy took off right away for Traci's house, but I wanted to read because I'd just started a new book.

  I'd only read two pages when Daddy walked in. "Anika, I need some help stuffing and stamping some envelopes. I want you to come down to the office with me."

  At first I wanted to say no. If I went down to the office I might miss tea with the Barneses. Then I remembered that if I helped, maybe Daddy would get more rest.

  "OK, I'm coming," I called and threw my book down. I like helping Daddy in the office anyway. It always makes me feel like I'm part of something worthwhile. Still, I didn't want to miss tea.

  I tried to hurry through the envelope stuffing, but the paper wouldn't fold straight. So I kept having to start over. I got some of the stamps on kind of crooked, and Daddy scolded me when he came to look.

  "Daddeeee!" I said kind of irritated. "Why are we doing this anyway? Why don't you just rest and get better? I'm sick of these dumb envelopes."

  "Anika, if I was just doing work for myself it would be one thing. But I feel that we're doing God's work. If I'm here in Kenya and can't do what God wants me to do, what good am I?"

  "Yeah, but it makes you sicker," I muttered under my breath. It really bugged me when he wouldn't quit working and rest.

  He just looked at me kind of sad, which made me feel bad. I sighed and put the stamps on more carefully.

  The metal roof made popping sounds in the sun, and the office smelled of dust and books. Daddy's computer printer zipped loudly back and forth. I thought the job would never be done.

  Just when I was ready to give up, Mom walked in.

  "Well, they're off," she said. "I just hope Bea's mom recovers."

  "Oh no!" said Daddy, slapping his forehead. "I meant to see them off. What time is it?"

  "Tea time. The kids asked the Barneses over. Why don't you come up to the house for tea and take a break?" Mom suggested.

  "I've got to get this done before we leave for the coast," Daddy said.

  "Kevin, please take a break. You really mustn't work so hard. Joey Barnes will be there."

  "I'm sorry, Hazel, I just can't afford to come right now. I need Anika's help to finish that mailing, too."

  "Daddeee, please," I burst in. "I've been working for ages already. Let's go."

  "Ido need that mailing done today."

  "I know, Sandy and I can come down after supper and do it. If she won't come, I'll do it by myself. I promise. Please?" I begged.

  "Whydon't we all come down here after supper?" Mom asked. "That way we could work together."

  Daddy said that would be OK, especially since he was pl
anning to come down anyway, but he still didn't have time for tea. We just couldn't win.

  Mom and I walked up across the park to our house. Neither of us was very happy. We were going to have tea on the porch, and when we got there, all four of the Barneses were already there. So were Traci and David. Sandy was playing gracious hostess.

  Traci was sitting on the wide railing near the porch entrance. When I walked past, she stuck the matchbox in my hand. I tried to give it back, but she wouldn't take it. The adults were starting to look at us, so I had to keep it.

  Mom brought out some milk to fill up a pitcher.

  "Those little triangular milk packs are kinda cute," said Mr. Barnes. "I hate to say it, but they just don't keep milk as fresh as the cartons we use in California. It just doesn't taste right."

  I grimaced. He's always saying how awful Kenya is compared to the States. If he liked it so much in the U.S.A., I thought, why didn't he stay there?

  "Well, at least it isn't full of growth hormones and drugs," I said without thinking. Daddy had told us about an article he'd read in Timemagazine. It had said a lot of American farm animals are fed loads of drugs.

  Mom frowned at me and quickly changed the subject to the Bible school. Traci walked over to sit by me. She sort of jerked her head at my hand, but I didn't want to drop the ani-ngongo yet. I tried to give it back to her.

  Mr. Barnes noticed. "What have you girls got there that's so interesting?" he boomed.

  Traci and I just sat there.

  "Whathave you got, Traci?" Mom asked.

  "I don't have anything."

  Great! She was leaving all the blame on me.

  "Anika?" Mom said, her voice firm.

  "Um, it's an ani-ngongo we found."

  "An aunty who?" boomed Mr. Barnes. "I never met an aunty that fit in a matchbox." He bellowed with laughter at his own joke.

  I just couldn't stand the idea of him at the coast with us, so I blurted out, "It's a centipede. A little one, see?" and held my hand right under his nose. "The ones at the coast are ten times as big."

  He wasn't scared at all. He grabbed my hand and held it open to look closer. The ani-ngongo uncurled and walked over onto his finger, and he just watched.